The other day, I was standing in my closet looking for something to wear when I pulled out a skirt I love.
And then I put it back. I would save it for something special. I stood there for a second and thought, what exactly am I saving it for?
A wedding? A fancy dinner? Some future evening when the weather is perfect, my hair cooperates and someone sends me an engraved invitation assuring me that, yes, this occasion is finally worthy of the perfect skirt?
Meanwhile, the skirt just hangs there. There is probably something hanging in your closet that you are saving for something, too.
Maybe it still has the tags on it. Maybe you have tried it on three or four times, admired yourself in the mirror and then carefully hung it back up because you did not have anywhere “special enough” to wear it.
There are plates in a cabinet you only use at Christmas. Towels nobody is allowed to touch. Candles that smell wonderful but have somehow become too pretty to burn. Perfume saved for date night. Jewelry tucked away in a box. Shoes too nice for an ordinary Tuesday.
Somewhere along the way, we decided the nicest things we own should spend most of their lives waiting.
I have started to wonder exactly what occasion we are all waiting for.
A random Friday night when your friends come over for dinner sounds pretty special to me.
Maybe you are eating steak. Maybe you ordered pizza. Maybe somebody brought a bag of chips and another person showed up carrying a six-pack and absolutely no contribution toward dinner.
Who cares?
The people you love are sitting around your table and that is the occasion.
I think sometimes we are so afraid of ruining beautiful things that we forget what they were made for.
China was made to hold dinner. Dresses were made to be worn. Crystal glasses were made to clink together during a toast. Candles were made to burn. Blankets were made to wrap around people. Jewelry was made to catch the light. And life was made to be lived.
There is something incredibly sad to me about the idea of leaving behind a closet full of “special.”
Dresses I never wore. Shoes without scuffs on the soles. Perfume bottles still full. Dishes without a scratch. Jewelry sitting in boxes.
Things I loved enough to buy, but apparently never thought my ordinary life was important enough to use.
I do not want someone cleaning out my house someday and finding a stack of beautiful plates that nobody remembers eating from.
I want somebody to pick one up and say, “Oh, we used these all the time.”
I want the nice dress hanging in my closet to eventually become the old dress I wear everywhere.
Because the truth is, the things themselves are not precious.
The memories are. We keep waiting for birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, holidays and milestones before we give ourselves permission to celebrate.
But maybe Tuesday deserves a little celebration too.
You are here. They are here. Dinner is warm. The people you love are close enough to reach across the table and touch.
How much more special does an occasion need to be?
Of course things will get broken. That is the risk. The good china might chip. Wine might spill on the dress. The expensive candle will eventually disappear completely.
Your favorite shoes will get scratched. But I would rather wear something out than leave it behind untouched.
I would rather have a plate break during dinner with friends than survive another 50 years perfectly preserved in the back of a china hutch.
Maybe we have been thinking about our nice things backward.
Using them does not make them less valuable. Using them is what gives them value. So invite your friends over. Make something good, or order something greasy. Pull the plates out of the cabinet. Wear the dress you have been saving. Open the bottle. Burn the candle.
There will always be another reason to wait for a better time.
But there may not always be another time. I don’t want to be buried with a closet full of special things I never got around to wearing.
I want to wear the good dress until it is no longer the good dress.
I want to use the good china until somebody chips it.
I want my nice things to look like they belonged to somebody who enjoyed being alive.
Because a random Friday night with people you love is not ordinary.
That is the special occasion. Use the good china. Be kind to your neighbors, Be kind to your pets, And quit waiting for someday.